Heartbreak warfare

The sky's grey today, and again I thought of you. There are days like this one, were I find myself wondering and wandering into little trails of the past. It's usually about the simple things really. Where are you? Have you eaten? do you have new friends? do you ever wonder where I am? if I've eaten? if I've made new friends?

I imagine how hard it must've been for you. Or am I being too conceited? elevating the importance of my presence in your life? Either way, if I do choose to believe that I meant much to you, then I understand how things could've been hard on your side. But why were they hard for me as well? I ended things, I ended us. US meaning the times we would stay up all night talking about our future lives. How we would be on talk shows together, standing tall and bright like the confident women of substance we would have become. US meaning the sleepovers we would have at your house doing nothing, except dreaming and fantasizing over movies. US meaning heartbreak warfare.... Do u still remember? Because I do now, so vividly. How you introduced me to John Mayer, to U2, to Lauryn hill.

Now every time I walk on that endless road, passing by the house Bessie head used to live in, then the farm with that old cottage house, I remember. The dreams, the walks, the aspirations of two naïve girls with too much heart. That is the us I ended. So why should things be hard for me too? why should I still be conflicted? why should I still miss you? And what does missing you mean?
Truth is, I thought I would find someone like you. I guess I thought there was more of you stored some place out there somewhere. But there isn't, I know that now. See now, now I miss you and what makes it even more hard to keep walking away, not to look back, is the fact that I know I'm never gonna find someone who got me as much as you did, who cared as much as you did.

 I plan on going back to that book store we used to go to, and I'm going to buy that book I always wanted. And I hope with every page I turn, I will always think of you. It will be a memento to our lost friendship. This here note is a memento to our lost friendship. I miss you, terribly, hopelessly, whole-heartedly, miserably my friend......